


looting and lying and laughing, oh my

by NotSummer



Series: The Duoverse [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Humor, The Ancient and Noble Art of Bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 14:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11715870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSummer/pseuds/NotSummer
Summary: Avi could catch the thief. Probably. The woman was stealing from a Republic base.On the other hand, she was successfully stealing from a Republic base.





	looting and lying and laughing, oh my

“You, trooper! Catch that thief!” An overweight human with a receding hairline gestured furiously, his mustache seeming to take on a life of its own as he gesticulated wildly. Avi turned to watch the thief running towards the exit Avi was waiting by, and she sighed.

A couple footsteps brought her right in front of the exit, and she held out her hand. “Not on business hours. You could try a bit harder.”

Oriah scowled at her, and placed the two new blaster pistols into Avi’s hands. The human jogged up to them, “Good work! Now take this brigand to the brig!” Avi exchanged a glance with Oriah, who for once in her damned life, had the sense to stay quiet. Who talks like that?

“Sir, Apologies, but we were instructed to perform hardening tests on various bases on planets closest to Imperial territory. Record response times, security vulnerabilities, et cetera,” Avi drawled, disappointingly shaking her head.

The officer drew himself up, but Avi straightened as well, towering over him. “Lieutenant Mavorn, this base’s response time was abysmal. Neither of us were asked to show ID when we entered the base, key locations were unguarded, and holocams are useless due to having more blind spots than a Miraluka.”

The officer had frozen, and Avi carefully kept her mask of disdain and disappointment fixed firmly on her face. “Lieutenant, we have these protocols for a reason. In this war, we face the possible destruction all the ideals we in the Republic hold so dear: liberty, justice, equality, and the dream of a better future.”

Avi started to pace, pontificating, “The Sith want to destroy everything righteous in this galaxy, and it’s our duty to stop them. We can’t do that if we leave our bases unguarded, and we certainly can’t do it if we don’t follow protocols meant to lower the risk of Imperial Intelligence incursions.”

She crossed her arms, coming to a stop. She thought she heard a faint, choking whining noise coming from Oriah, and her mouth twitched just for a second, breaking her mien of indignant fury. “I am disappointed in you, Mavorn, but more than that, the Republic is disappointed with you. Get out of my sight, and start fixing these damn problems while I report to High Command about the horrific state of our most important fuel depots and bases in the Mid Rim.”

The officer saluted (sloppily), stuttered out something that might have been, “Ma’am, yes ma’am,” and walked off as fast as he could. As soon as he turned a corner, Oriah snorted and leaned up against the wall, shaking as laughter overtook her.

Avi scowled, “You utter _ass_. I had _no idea_ you were on planet. What if I hadn’t been there? Were you planning on _shooting_ your way out?”

“His face!”

Avi’s scowl grew bigger.

“Did you see that? He was kriffing _shaking_ when you were done. That was the most beautiful _banthashit_ I’ve ever heard.”

“Next time to decide you decide to break into Republic property, at least make sure I know about it first.”

Oriah smirked. “Can I at least keep the pistols?”

Avi handed them over and said, “Just... tell me where the vulnerabilities are so I can write that damn report I threatened.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oriah belongs to @fancyfade, and Avi is mine. We've been running these two through their storylines whenever our schedules match up. A lot of fun. And plenty of ficlets.


End file.
